So Many Jews

Emily: I was talking to my dad today about hanging plants for my dorm, and he recommended one and if i remember correctly it was called the Spreading Jew. Or the Climbing jew... Sprawling jew.. Maybe he was making it up...

Ben can't spell alcohol.

Tess: We're watching a nasty video about burn victims and I want some raspberries so bad but those thoughts are unrelated. 

Blame it on the alchohol

Matt: Whiskey+Main event= awesome experience
Ben: You= My hero


...Later


Ben: How was drunk Main Event?
Matt: I don't give a damn about my reputttatttioonn!!!

Sweet Teeth

Sam: My dentist is this asian man who tells me I have perfect beautiful teeth. I want to say "You fucker! I know I have cavities, it hurts to eat cupcakes!"

In regard to getting wisdom teeth removed:

Rachel: If I'm not at risk for developing an opiate addiction, they didn't give me enough pain pills. 

I have a feeling that this is only the beginning.

Ben: Dude it's four and I've had that many drinks. What's going to happen tonight? I can't keep this up.

Ew

Rachel: I just burped fishoil. Foul.

His academic team is in semi-finals

Eric: So I have this old box from when I bought a belt, a Tiffany box. In a bag in my closet. So it's like a little Tiffany shopping bag with the box in it. And the box is padded and has a nice little cloth bag in it. And I put a Grateful Dead logo on the inside of said box. With Flareon from Pokemon in the middle of it. Because my piece is named Flareon.

Rachel: At what point of this story does your loser coefficient reach infinity?

Eric: Well, its full name is Flareon, Fire on the Mountain.

Rachel: Oh. At that point.